My turning point

I am not used to express my feelings in writing. In high school, when a teacher requires a diary, I would abruptly go against it in my mind. But I have a change of heart, I will state my sentiments less the bitterness.

I acknowledge my shortcomings as a husband. I dont know how to elaborate but eventually I will give my side, not to belittle anyone but just to set the record straight.

Why am I doing this? I need attention, lots of it. Well you can say that, but I'd rather claim this as my turning point. I have tried to keep this for a long time. I would want people to respect me and I thought if they would find out that I am a single father, they will loose their respect for me.

I have always talked about a complete home, where a father, a mother and children are united and happy together. I always shed a tear whenever I asked families to join together and pray. I am somehow wishing that I can do the same. I always envy a family who goes to church together. And worship with their loved ones.

Until such a time that I received a wonderful gift from above.

Now, I think I am ready to talk about this, I have bore the pain and suffering for so long. And yes, I have surrendered everything to God. He did wonders for me. I have lived a life of peace and joy even if there are still times when I would love to hold hands with her.

I am renewed. But by the grace and love of The Father. He sent His Son that I may experience His healing. Wonderful, He's so wonderful.

I am browsing through our wedding pictures and I still feel the love that brought us together. I still remember the vow we made. I still savor the mist of the night. But thank God there is no pain, no bitterness, no emptiness.

I am whole. Not by might, nor by power but by The Spirit of The Lord.

I was once was asked if I still love her. I am hoping I would say 'no', but I still do. And if by chance we meet somewhere, I would wish that she's still the gracious woman who used to stunned me everyday, everytime.

Let me share with you this poem and perhaps a prayer;

though apart were together

holding on to prayer

we will not surrender

love is our altar