Monday, March 28, 2011

Where would I be...

I have been through difficult times. Times that almost drowned me.
But I thank God every time I realized its because of His grace.
Praise You Father!

Sunday, March 27, 2011

I made it!

I was 16 years old then and I applied for a scholarship under the Deped. After submitting all the required documents, I was given the chance to enroll in a private university and took up Banking and Finance as my major. At the back of my mind are thoughts about those who weren't able to pursue their studies. And I am so grateful that I was given a chance to finish my studies which will mean a good life not only for me but also for my family.

My mother insisted that I pursue my studies no matter what. That's why even when the allotment from the scholarship haven't arrived she opted to borrow. My first payment for enrollment came from a well known lending system in the country which is termed as 5/6, that means for every P1000.00 borrowed, you need to pay P1200, thats 20% of what you just borrowed.

I received just an ample amount for my transportation. I cannot afford to loose even 25 cents or I will be walking 15-20/km.

I remember an incident when my professor required the whole class to photocopy a certain lesson for an exam the next meeting. I handed my money with hesitation for it means I'll be 'walking the distance'.

In one incident when I was walking not accidentally, a man called me from afar. I choose not to look because I am afraid to be interrogated as to why I am walking in the middle of the night. The voice insisted so I looked, only to find out my godfather, on a car.

I lied saying I am just waiting for the right vehicle. he invited me to join him because He is going to somewhere close to our house. He saved me for the next 12kms.

My parents doesn't know of my dilemma. I guess its because I have seen enough of their hardships, I choose not to tell them mine.

It only lasted a year for I loosed tracked of my vision of the future, I focused on the burden.

I never thought that I will make it once more in college, but after twelve years I took an entrance exam at the Philippines premier school for teachers, that is, Philippine Normal University. On the day of the exam the proctor thought that I am a student for the graduate school since I was 30 years old then. She said that the exam she is giving is for the undergraduate. "Ma'am, I only looked ahead of my age" I joked but somehow irritated.

I passed the exams and when enrollment came, a student assistant said "Sir, aren't you tired of studying?" well, I just think that the road for improvement is not that easy. But I'm so glad there are those people who supported and assisted me. And I'm thankful for all my classmates, they may not know it, but they have been teachers to me. I was the oldest in the class but they managed to relate with me. They have sheltered me from storms I thought I would not passed.

My professors were very supportive of me. Their understanding never runs out. They inspired me to go on until I reached the line.

My family, they are so valuable to me. In my third year, I was planning to stop and pursue a job, so that I can support my kids, my mom insisted that I should finish my studies first and then I could find a job. If not for them I dont know where I am right now.

Its been a year since I took that step towards the stage to receive my diploma, and I am grateful to everyone. You may have been instrumental with my hard times, thank you, for now I can look back and say I made it through the storm.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Wiped my tears away.

I left home for almost two weeks now. I never thought it will be this hard. I volunteered to give my service to teaching English to non speakers for at least a month. At first I said it will be very easy given the very fast exchange of days. But when I saw my kids picture it brought me to tears.

My kids were used to literally jump off to me and hug me and say 'I love you' especially when I least expect it. I didn't do that with my dad so they are leaving me clueless as to how should I respond. Well, I just return those hugs and kisses with the same and sometimes add some tickling which made them giggle and I love it.

Like most parents, I would like to make my kids happy especially now. But with the distance we have, seems like its impossible. Thank God for the internet, they just talked and spoke to me like we've never seen each other for years. I am so glad of this technology which allows one who is far away to be so near. Now I can say the internet wiped my tears away.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Be strong in the Lord

Oftentimes, we share with the pain of those who suffer, with open expressions up to the point of saying more than what should be said. Just recently, I visited a friends son who was hospitalized. The truth is am a bit unsure of what to say since I know how hard it is for a father like me, to see your child in a room not his, with dextrose and stuffs than can only be seen at the hospital. With uncertainty me and some friends got to the room. We greeted each other like we've never seen each one for years, but we've just concluded a trip to the beach the other day.

I stood where I can see everyone while trying to think of words from the past to somehow console the parents of the child. I cant find the right words to say. I stayed listening to what everyone has to say. In the end I left the place with words for my friend "be strong in the Lord".

We at times are enticed by the idea to talk too much. That's why instead of comforting someone whose in need, they end up discouraged.

After a careful thought of what happened, I thanked God that I just uttered those words. They may not mean anything to anyone but for one who is in need God's strength it means everything.

Let me assure you then that the sweetest words are not those that are so fragrant anyone can recognize, rather to whom it is spoken it should bring peace.