Thursday, December 30, 2010

best friend

I always thought that these words will remain true. Dont get me wrong, I mean personally, you see this is how I address the lab of my life. I see and treated her as my very best friend, that is before we fell apart.

The first time we met she thought I was bubbly, its because I was the host of the party we attended. I dont know her that time and we weren't able to talk.

Our next meeting was at a band practice in our church. She was with someone who I thought is her boyfriend. We were introduced alright and I took notice of her long black hair and her fair complexion.

On our next meeting the guy whose with her wasn't around. I started the conversation by asking her about the guy she's with last time. She said that the guy is trying to court her again after they parted ways for a couple of months.

I can still remember our first group date which was a lot of fun. We were six in the group and we headed for a theme park. At dawn we played games at a parking area.

I was working at a publication company where I was the media relation assistant where I do correspondents. I usually answer phone calls, I received one from an unidentified girl who sounds familiar yet I cannot guess who. She said that she wanted to talk with just anyone.

It wasn't our breaktime yet, so I am not allowed to received or do personal calls. I told her that as much as I would like to talk to her I cannot since its not yet time. I asked her name and told her that I am going to call her the time for break is on.

She agreed and I cant believe that I am really making the call. Break time arrives and I called her. She told me that she called a common friend earlier to say something, but she was told that she doesnt have the time and our friend gave her my number.

Wow. I am spending my breaktime with a girl who wants to talk. That started our 'breaktime friendship calls' my officemates always tease me. They say that I eat like a hurricane. I eat so fast after which the call starts. We were talking for at east 30 to 45 minutes. At least before she leaves for school. She is at her senior years.

It lasted for a year after I decided to resigned from the company, due to conflict of interest with my superior who gave me the options 'you resign or I will terminate you'.

Our friendship flourished for another year then I courted her. I told his brother that I have special feelings with his sister. He said that it was evident with our actions and he has no objections with it.

I still consider her as my best friend for with her I keep no secret. She returned it with her being confident in telling me just anything.

As time goes by, we weren't talking the way we used to. Especially when were married and lived together. The once bubbly talk started to grow tired and the fire was burnt away. That started our parting of ways.

In case you're reading this, I want you to know that no one can take your place 'best friend'.

Friday, December 10, 2010

My turning point

I am not used to express my feelings in writing. In high school, when a teacher requires a diary, I would abruptly go against it in my mind. But I have a change of heart, I will state my sentiments less the bitterness.

I acknowledge my shortcomings as a husband. I dont know how to elaborate but eventually I will give my side, not to belittle anyone but just to set the record straight.

Why am I doing this? I need attention, lots of it. Well you can say that, but I'd rather claim this as my turning point. I have tried to keep this for a long time. I would want people to respect me and I thought if they would find out that I am a single father, they will loose their respect for me.

I have always talked about a complete home, where a father, a mother and children are united and happy together. I always shed a tear whenever I asked families to join together and pray. I am somehow wishing that I can do the same. I always envy a family who goes to church together. And worship with their loved ones.

Until such a time that I received a wonderful gift from above.

Now, I think I am ready to talk about this, I have bore the pain and suffering for so long. And yes, I have surrendered everything to God. He did wonders for me. I have lived a life of peace and joy even if there are still times when I would love to hold hands with her.

I am renewed. But by the grace and love of The Father. He sent His Son that I may experience His healing. Wonderful, He's so wonderful.

I am browsing through our wedding pictures and I still feel the love that brought us together. I still remember the vow we made. I still savor the mist of the night. But thank God there is no pain, no bitterness, no emptiness.

I am whole. Not by might, nor by power but by The Spirit of The Lord.

I was once was asked if I still love her. I am hoping I would say 'no', but I still do. And if by chance we meet somewhere, I would wish that she's still the gracious woman who used to stunned me everyday, everytime.

Let me share with you this poem and perhaps a prayer;

though apart were together
holding on to prayer
we will not surrender
love is our altar

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Yes, I am a single father

When God created man and woman, He said that they should go together and for such reason a man will leave his parents and live with his wife. That didn't happened to me. All of my married life was spent with my family. Dont get me wrong, I have nothing against my family. It's not their fault. I choose to cleave with them for the reason of my own laziness.

Since I claim to be a single father, I should also claim my vulnerability or perhaps dumbness with regards to living a life as a married man should. this I say is caused by my lack of knowledge as to what marriage should be.

Yes, I claimed to have knowledge over everything. I actually thought I'm a genius. But then it dawned on me that head knowledge is nothing without knowing how it should be perform.

So, how do you keep a marriage working? Yes please, ask me. Being in such state, let me just remind those who stood before the altar to declare their love to the one they have chosen, you should not retreat in defending that love, no matter what.

Well, I have no plan of counselling anyone, and its not my reason for this blog, but I will update and inform you of our adventure and misadventure a single dad has.

I really dont know up to when will I stay as single. But I am sure, The Lord's plan will prevail over my life for I have let go of it for quite sometime.

I'm hoping you'll enjoy this, for I enjoy sharing.